Gangland: Carlos and Dee Dee

Four months later...December 1932

Dee Dee had excitedly finished wrapping the last of the Christmas presents and set them under the tree in their living room. The past four months were a blissful blur to them. Dee Dee had made a once cold house into a home that her small family consisting of Carlos, Bobby, Mrs. Cardeli, and their two dachshunds, Archie and Annette, could cherish. She had decorated the home and made it a place full of life. The spare rooms were turned into guest bedrooms and offices. All except one: she left it vacant just in case her and Carlos had a child of their own. Dee Dee never approached the subject of children with him, fearful that he would be in agreement with Jax about having a child in their world. She silently kept those wishes to herself. She was young, 19, and still had a lot ahead of her anyway.

She looked at the new lights on the tree for a spell before going into the kitchen to help Mrs. Cardeli with dinner. Mrs. Cardeli, an old Italian widow with no children of her own, took Dee Dee under her wing; doting on her like a daughter.

Carlos had spent the day in his office on the phone with Opie. He had proof Jax was feeding the Bernelli's information about Corrie. Carlos was beyond angry. This was why you didn't have kids, though he desperately wanted them, in this situation. He'd helped Opie find a few more men to guard the house because, ever stubborn, Corrie refused to leave. Carlos had no desire to tell Dee Dee about her best friend and had no intentions of telling unless she asked.

He strolled in to the kitchen, drawn by the smell of dinner, and went to stick his finger in the pan.

Mrs. Cardeli gently swatted his hand away, "Oh no you don't, boy! You wait." Dee Dee chuckled, loving how much Mrs. Cardeli treated him like a son. She kissed Mrs. Cardeli's cheek, "Now, Nana...no need to get worked up." She smiled at her husband, her eyes bright and hopeful. She finished up the lattice on the pies and put the pies in the oven. She wiped her hands on the apron around her small waist as she went off into the living room to make sure Archie and Annette were behaving. She was happy to see both of them sound asleep by the fire.

He followed her into the next room and slid his arms around her waist. He love dthe smell of her hair and the feel of it gently brushing his face. He sighed, content to hold her.

Dee Dee smiled softly as she rested her hands on his arms as she looked at the tree. She sighed with content as she thought about the last few months. She was finally happy and free from the feelings of being an object. She was allowed to finally be herself.

He kissed her cheek, "Penny for your thoughts?"

Dee Dee knew she was approaching a tricky subject, but she was so optimistic and so happy that she hoped it would pass on to her husband. She smiled brightly, "I was thinking about that room...how it'd look wonderful as a nursery...how all I want for Christmas is to try for a baby."

He frowned, "Doll, I love you and Iw ant to give all the things you want, but I can't d that."

Dee Dee pulled away, looking at him with sadness in her big green eyes. She felt so confused, "W-Why? We are young. We have this big house and so much love to give...why can't we have a baby? Even Opie and Corrie are having a baby..."

He felt the tears coming, "I want to, but I don't ever want to go through what he has. He doesn't want that baby. He's told me so. I've seen the look in that man;s eyes and I don't ever want to feel that way,"

Dee Dee shook her head, feeling her heart break and her mind getting foggy with confusion, "It's not fair though...all my life...I've been nothing more than a pawn; unable to make choices for myself. All I want is to be more than an object. I want what everyone else has...and still I can't have it."

She looked away, so hurt by Carlos' rejection; too hurt to see his pain. She felt her tears rolling down her cheeks. Tears that she hadn't shed since she was 'bartered off' to Trevor. She shrugged, broken, "Fine. I should have seen this coming. Jax told me...he told me he had to give you more power now that we were married. I didn't believe him; I thought he was being cruel...now...I don't know what to think..." She went over to the coat rack in the hall, keeping her eyes downcast as she slipped on her coat. "I don't get it...I don't understand what I'm here for...here on this earth for...I only wanted one thing...the same thing every woman wants and yet...I can't. I might as well be barren or dead...I..." Without warning, she rushed out of the house, sobbing.



The hours passed and the night grew colder. Snow clung to her coat and soft blonde hair as she walked the empty streets of Chicago; trying to find the nerve to go home. She felt bad for what she said to Carlos. He had loved and supported her in everything and suddenly she called him out; called him a traitor. He was only trying to keep them safe.

A distant clock tolled twice as she made her way home, passing her husband's department store. She recalled the time when she went there and picked her wedding dress; a time so much simpler. As she passed the back alleyway, a pair of arms grabbed her; wrapping tightly against her neck and dragging her back into the darkness. Her screams muffled by the El train above. Trevor glared coldly at the girl; his lost asset. "Bitch...you really thought you were going to find your way out of this? You are going to learn...you are going to PAY for leaving me. Life is not a fairy tale...not for washed up little whores like yourself."

His foot connected against her left cheek first; causing her to chip one of her back teeth. Blood poured from her nose as he continued attacking her and she tried to fight back, raising her arms to protect her head from the blows only to have him break one of them in the process. He kicked her stomach and ribs repeatedly, causing her to spit up blood in the snow. He kept saying he'd make her pay with broken bones. Her mind foggy from weakness, she tried crawling away, but he grabbed her by her hair, blood now staining it and dragged her back into the darkness where he ripped her dress and undergarments; raping her.

He left her there in the dark wet alley to die; snow falling onto her as she bled. Her weak body shivered as her clothes got covered in snow. She was completely soaked to the bone; coughing hard as the minutes became hours. Then, just as she passed out, Bobby's frantic voice filled her ears. The world went black.

Carlos paced frantically as the doctor's he had on call fixed Dee Dee the best they could. She had several broken bones and a possible concussion. They didn't know how long she would be unconscious. If she woke he'd give her whatever she wanted.

Once the doctor's left he sat by her bed. He held her hand and never left her side. He wouldn't eat or sleep. Bobby kept vigil over them both.

Dee Dee had been out for three days with a fever and a rash of raspy coughs. They feared she had pneumonia at one point; giving her olive oil injections and various treatments. The doctors kept a careful eye on her and were relieved as her coughing became minimal and her fever broke. Mrs. Cardeli kept the house on lockdown from visitors; not wanting Dee Dee to be disturbed after such a traumatic experience. Bobby held meetings downstairs in the foyer with the hitmen he had assigned to find Trevor. He wanted to give Dee Dee the security that she would need after that night.

It was morning when Dee Dee started coming to, she woke with a start. Her bruised eyes were green, bloodshot, and frantic as she looked around the room for her attacker. She curled into a ball as she prepared for the worst to happen again. Her body sore and broken, made her whimper out in pain.

Carlos held her, "Don't move, don't move! You're safe, I've got you," he sobbed in to her hair, "We can have babies, as many babies as you can ever want, just don't ever leave me again. Please."

His hair was unkempt and he had a start of a beard. He'd lost a considerable amount of weight and you could see hollowness in his eyes. While she was out her best friend had been kinapped and all he could think was the worst while he waited for her to wak. He was afraqid he would end up empty and souless like Opie.

Dee Dee felt tears stink her cuts under her eyes and on her upper lip. She knew he didn't know what had happened to her in the alley. Her curls, limp and the shine gone, bounced slightly as she shook her head, "N-N-no...w-we can't ever...n-n-not now...not after h-h-h-he..." She looked down in shame, too disgusted with herself to continue. She felt tainted and dirty; like trash. How could Carlos love her the same way once he found out what Trevor had done.

He stroked her hair, "Doll baby, I know. I know what he did. I don't care. You are still mine. I still love you. It doesn't change a god damned thing."

Dee Dee sobbed, her small frame shaking hard despite her pains. She still felt ashamed and less of a person. How could she look him in the eye anymore without feeling like he is pitying her or judging her? How could she bring a child into the world only because Carlos felt he owed it to her. She shook her head, unable to speak.

He held her tightly, "You're not dirty. You are still pure, still my love. My everythign. I shouldn't have told you no. I've always wanted kids, I was just afraid, it was stupid and I', sorry."

Dee Dee kept silent, lying against him limp and exhausted. She was sure that a part of her died in the alley; that she could not be the same person she was only a few days ago. The Christmas lights that burned so brightly to her were now dull and colorless. The smell of pine that was once so clean and crisp was sickening and overpowering. She closed her eyes, praying hard that it was all a nightmare and that she'd wake up okay, but she knew her prayers were wasted. Restless, she slept.

Still consumed with worry, Carlos continued to refuse food. He didn't sleep while he held her tight. By that after noon he was burning up with fever himself. A product of his body being weak.

Dee Dee woke up an hour later, feeling Carlos' feverish forehead against her neck. She became consumed with worry, "Carlos? Carlos! Oh my god, you are burning up! Bobby!" She turned around to unbutton his shirt, "When was the last time you slept? Ate?"

He shook his head, "I don't know."

He moaned quietly as she unbuttoned his shirt. Every muscle he had hurt.

As bobby came in, Carlos muttered, "No, don't, it's cold."

Bobby could see the fever in his eyes and immediately called the doctors.

Dee Dee felt helpless as she watched the doctors check him. She held one of his large hands in both of hers.

He began to cough that night, but the fever started to subside. In his sleep he called out her name. A few times he reached out for her.

Dee Dee was with him the entire time: combing his hair, carefully shaving him, and wading him down. He cared for her despite what was happening to him. She kissed his lips when he called for her, "I'm here, love, I'm here. Shhh."